I should really stop making depressing journals XD

Butttttttttt
They make me fee! Like I'm actually explaining something if not nothing.
But when someone actually comments on them I feel embarrassed and realise "oh yeah did I mention that you're uploading this to the internet?" 

Lol...
I'm actually broken at the moment but I'm fully glad with myself that up until now I'm not using any swear swords XDD 
Or like yelling stupidly, I'm sure that's a child's thing, no?

I've realised that with time my emotions start to shut down. And i wonder if that's concerning or if that's just me being silly XD but I'm sure it's just me being silly anyways... Despite everything that's happening around me and how I'm surprised I managed to write this far whilst being very calm 
To be honest I wonder what the future holds for me. I don't want to go on saying "I hate my life" or "kill me now" but I hope that things will get better because for sure I'm not